dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
