she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
