It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
