You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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