Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
i out mim tonsoeep
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