is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Randomize
