i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
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