The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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