the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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