Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
