We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
