Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
