Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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