I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
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