I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
