rhymes with "ouble enetration"
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
