Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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