piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
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