Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
