you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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