we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
