I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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