My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Randomize
