Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
