im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
