Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
