sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I showed him my bush... on skype.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
We don't watch enough power rangers
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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