totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
