she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
