I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
