I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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