i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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