But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
They are going to name an STD after you.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
