No more Irish car bombs ever.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Randomize
