I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
