I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Randomize
