If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
