yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
