I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
its not stalking. its research.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Randomize
