I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
