I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
The adults are the big ones right?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
