Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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