Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
