What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Randomize
