Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
