Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
