Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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