I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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