he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
