yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
