Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
