No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
