Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
