Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
